Chosen or Chance

There are some changes happening here. I would love to share them with you, but they are, unfortunately, far too personal. If it were just me, I would spill them all over the blog. However, my life is shared with others, and alas, it’s not always appropriate for every gory detail to hit this blog.

Suffice to say that things are changing. Change is something I love and loathe. It’s a great way to break out of that comfort zone. Chosen change is optimal as it allows you an element of control, even while the carriage may be careering along behind a horse different to the one that you thought you were hooked. Chance change is a completely different matter, but it’s a reality, and one of those things that tends to bring out our true colours. Chance change really tests us. Occasionally, it leaves behind some damage or it may unveil new opportunities, a new path.

The problem with dealing with chance change here in Naples is that I’m feeling increasingly isolated. Gigi and I have both learnt that as you get older it seems to take at least 12 months in a new place before you start to make solid friendships. Generally, those new friendships are the result of personal connections at work. Having chosen to teach English on a part time basis I did indeed make friends with some of the other teachers, only to have them leave, such is the nature of the industry. Several of my students have become friends but with well-established lives and routines, it is sometimes difficult to find time. However, more fundamentally it’s proven challenging to meet people that I connect with who can help bridge the gap between my culture, language and background and that of most locals.

All of this is compounding into what at times is a vague sense of homesickness. I have suffered severe bouts of homesickness in the past, when living in London and Thailand, and I’ve been waiting for it to hit me here in Naples. I am happy to say that it hasn’t been an issue (to date) but I am becoming increasingly aware that I am missing my friends and family more and more. Missing people and being homesick for a place/culture/environment are, in my opinion, quite different things. I am missing the companionship, the support and the fun that my friends and family provide. Some of these things are culturally based, like sense of humour, but also about shared time and experiences. I miss Sunday night BBQ’s at mum and dad’s place. I miss slow sit down coffees at Fat Boys Café in the Valley. I miss dinners at the Vietnamese BYO restaurant. (Why do all of things revolve around food & drink?) But mostly I miss just hanging out, laughing, crying and talking to my mates, sisters and parents.

Some of these amazing people have been to visit. Some of them are coming. I find their efforts to come to Naples to visit Gigi and I an incredibly generous gift. Not only is it wonderful to spend time with them, but it’s also amazing to have other people from my Aussie world have a glimpse of this place, this crazy, vibrant, over the top city that Gigi calls home, and that I’ve come to love as well. Creating shared experiences, and having others understand what I mean when I talk about the traffic, the markets, the mozzarella, the history, architecture, and jaded beauty of this former kingdom is a blessing. A blessing that I know I will only fully appreciate when I am back in the land of Oz, reminiscing about the energy and colour of Naples, wishing I could get a decent pizza, and have a real coffee on the run standing up at the bar.

I’m missing my friends and family, but I’m determined to make the most of this experience, savouring each smell, taste and visual assault. One because I’ve chosen to be here, but secondly because the element for chance change is something that I need to embrace, for I know I will walk away wiser and stronger.

With all of this in mind, I want you to know that yesterday past without notice. Yesterday was 30th June, the end of financial year in Australia, and ordinarily a day of incredible stress and business. Here in Naples nobody was talking about it. I find that somehow liberating and odd, considering my work history in the finance and account sector.

Instead of worrying about what wasn’t done in time, I realise that it’s six months until New Years. July will be a busy month of teaching. August is a month of travel and visiting friends in Europe. September will be back in front of the white board with a welcome visit from more honeymooning friends at the end of the month. I’m hoping that October and November will be busy with work and weekends away as the temperatures, summer crowds and prices drop away. December is already booked up with visitors and Christmas plans. I expect January will be focussed on preparations, as we are planning to be back in Australia in February 2008. At this stage, I’m not sure if it’s a flying visit to attend to errands and other responsibilities and catch ups, or if it will be for a longer period.

If you’ve got this far, and you live in Brisbane (or maybe even Melbourne), you might be happy to know that before long I’ll be calling you for that Sunday night BBQ invite, or a coffee catch up. Or, maybe even a day at the beach with long stretches of clean white sand and pounding surf (don’t ask me about Italian beaches).