Unmentionables

Started 29th March 2006, Naples reviewed 22 Aprile 2006

Today (29/3/06) ended in my second meltdown in a month. The problem is that there is nowhere for me to have a private meltdown. Four adults (‘adults’ used generously) and a dog sharing a one-bedroom apartment is not something I would recommend to anyone, under any circumstances. But here we are, guests under my mother in law’s roof, and me behaving badly; melting down, ranting, crying and imploring Gigi to understand while his mother and sister sit just four metres away in the only other room of the house. It’s not pretty, and they think I’m a nut case, and that our relationship is built on arguments and psychotic episodes (no comments please!)

I’m going to take some photos to help you get a better understanding of my position….done! Now that I’ve taken them I’m thinking it’s inappropriate to load them onto the web for fear of embarrassing anyone (so I haven’t), but the reality is that this is how a lot of people live in this city. For two people it’s okay, not unlike some of the small apartments now available for inner city living in Australia (except of course Casalnuovo is not inner city…in fact it struck me today that it’s a bit like living in Goodna or Wacol compared to living in Ashgrove or Coorparoo) but for 4 + a beast it’s just not that much fun.

Of course I recognise that I am spoilt. There are plenty of locals living with large families in small homes and in poorer conditions.

Following is a list of things, good, bad and different that I have been obsessing about because of the limited space, privacy and independence:
· The apartment is clean (I won’t mention the mould growing on the walls that they can’t get the landlord to action or the dog hair)
· We have hot water (I won’t mention that I can’t take either a regular bath because the bath leaks into the apartment below or a regular shower…it’s one of those horrible hold it yourself things where you stand in the bath…I have never been able to master this and manage to get water everywhere to the disdain of those I share the bathroom with…and bathmats are considered unhygienic for some reason in this house {I’m going to buy one tomorrow which will surely rock the boat}).
· We eat well (I won’t mention the fact that Gi’s mother is still cooking two different meals every time we eat to accommodate Irene’s fussiness and Gigi’s vegan diet)
· The heating works well (I won’t mention the fact that you have to go outside on to the balcony in the cold to turn it on and off)
· They have a television (I won’t mention the fact that it’s still just as bad Italian tits and arse stuff as always, and that when Irene is watching TV no one is allowed to talk or she goes off in a huff)
· They have a DVD player (but strangely when you hire a DVD from a self service outlet you effectively pay for the DVD by the hour)
· The building has an elevator (we live on the 8th floor) which is not something to take for granted in a city where the old buildings often only have stairs (I won’t mention the fact that it only takes four people at a time, in a squeeze and only if you know each other, or that the elevator only registers one floor at a time…so if you get in with a complete stranger whoever is going to the lowest floor pushes that button first, gets out and then you push the button for your floor continuing the ascent upwards)
· The apartment building is in a secure area, with a security gate and allocated parking for residence (I won’t mention the fact our keys to open the security gate for vehicle access only works one out of three times…very tricky getting in if you come home at 1am in the morning).
· We don’t really see the neighbours either, which is good (I won’t mention the fact that we can hear them, above and beside us, in the morning walking around, banging furniture, yelling at the kids…you get the picture).

However, true to form Gi’s mother is ready to move. They’ve been here about 9 months now. Moving seems to be a habit for Rosaria – I don’t ask too many questions about the why. As I’ve mentioned in previous blogs we’ve been looking for an apartment with three bedrooms, two bedrooms, a kitchen with living room space and room for guests, my writing and Gi’s massage clients. I’m not yet convinced that we could all live together happily. I think Gi and I are so accustomed to our space and our privacy, as Irene and Rosa are used to their ways and lifestyle, that it would be a sensible idea to have two separate places. The economics and practicalities however might just get in the way of this though as we can undoubtedly save a couple of hundred Euro sharing one bigger place. If we have to completely furnish a new apartment it means buying a kitchen as well. Gi and I will have to furnish our bedroom regardless (unless we live separately in a furnished place) but I also have a dream of some space to write and an Internet connection. Now these are big dreams, I know, but if I could get a sound proofed bedroom that is off limits to everyone else (including the cleaning obsessed Irene), an Internet connection, a desk and a bathmat I’d be a pretty happy Jenny.

Needless to say I’m missing my house. It’s ironic to remember that as we were packing up and moving out I was thinking about how we’d outgrown the house, and that when we come back to Brisbane we’ll need more space…. intellectually I knew we were going to downsize in Naples but it’s the horrible process of being in limbo with your backpack unpacked, your stuff crammed into someone else’s drawers, that is driving me a little nuts. Irene cleans everyday (unnecessarily if anyone asks me, but mostly because she doesn’t have anything else to do), and moves our stuff around. I try to keep things organised, and put things out of the way, but every afternoon I come home and inevitably find everything has been moved to another place (22/4/06 this has stopped now after a long conversation, and the cleaning happens spasmodically now). We go grocery shopping and I can see Irene’s getting frustrated because all of that food has to go into the little kitchen cupboards somehow and it means that the perfectly organised 2 packets of pasta are no longer going to be as tidy as before we invaded the house…and we really have invaded.

I’m also missing my friends. I’ve said this in a previous blog but it really hit me tonight (29/3/06) how badly I’d love to have the luxury of picking up the phone (I won’t mention that there is no land line in the house for reasons you don’t want to know) and offloading some of this to someone who can just go ‘Really, that sucks…oh, remember it was you that wanted to go, so suck it up Jenny’. I spoke to my parents, sister Kim and nieces Katy & Sarah and nephew Josh this morning (29/3/06) so I suspect that’s contributing to my messed up state of being as well. It’s only been a month but the kids sound different. Katy was conducting a regular grown up conversation, and Josh told me he was feeling ‘lil bit sad because he couldn’t see me. But we agreed he was going to come and visit soon. Luckily his mother agrees.

22/4/06 PS I did buy that bathmat and am afraid to report that it has created some reverse culture shock for my in law hosts who consider it germ-infested and unsightly (did I mention the dog?).