Perspective

26 Marzo 2006, Lavariano

Isn’t it funny how the behaviour of others gives you insights into your own behaviour?

Gi’s aunt has been running hold and cold for the last few days. Her children feel that it’s unusual for her to be this anxious, nervous, cranky and difficult and explain that it’s probably due to the stress of preparing to move into her new house. I can relate to that, having recently done it myself, except in reverse. Often when you move house in Italy you take the whole kitchen with you. Not just the fridge but also the cabinets, the stove etc. So Marina has been sourcing a new kitchen, white goods and furniture for the living spaces and bedrooms. The house has been painted this week, and now the gas and electricity need to be connected. I also understand that there isn’t an external telephone line so that needs to be installed.

Each time we are at the shops or supermarket she’s looking at general household items like dining utensils, ironing boards, cooking equipment etc. Effectively she’s setting up house completely from scratch…abandoning everything that she’s had for the last 25 years in the house she shared with Marco. I guess it’s about a fresh start, or part of their agreement, but it’s certainly an expensive business and she is often talking about her limited funds.

This is also the first time in 25 years that she’s had a real paying job. Marina was employed at the local post office part time for about a year, and has done a variety of volunteer work but doesn’t really have any employment history to draw upon. Not for lack of wanting to work, but more because she was never given any encouragement.

Anyway, back to the behaviour reflection thought. I know I was often difficult to spend time with during the last few weeks we were in Australia…always obsessing about moving out of the house, renting the house, selling the car, finalising the travel arrangements and organising for our affairs to be in order. And to that extent I’d like to apologise to family and friends who endured any of it.

I was thinking a couple of days ago how much I miss my network. It’s one of those things that come with being away from home, but also one of those things that fades with time. Gigi is suddenly my family, my best friend, my only friend. And while he loves having me all to himself, he also has his family and the remnants of a friendship circle in Italy (although slightly scattered these days). I recognise that with time, and an improvement in my Italian, I’ll make new friends and get to know Gi’s family better but it’s always so much harder and never quite as rewarding when it’s not in your native language, in your native culture.

Anyway, we are booked on the overnight train to Naples tonight. Escaping the dullness of this area. The organized, civilised approach to life, good driving, clean streets and quiet don’t quite compensate for the life that surrounds you in Naples, the food, the inspiration and the beauty of the city.