Homeless Part 1

Life is all about lessons. Whenever I’m faced with some hardship (but please, what do I really know of hardship, I have my health, my family, my friends, a little money, work, opportunities and choices) I try to focus on learning from the process. Our temporary state of homelessness has accentuated a number of personal characteristics, in both Gigi and I, and I’m sure that this is part of the lesson I’m supposed to learn.

As I get older I find that my nesting instincts are getting increasingly stronger. Both Martha Stewart and my mother assure me that it’s perfectly natural, especially in this world of terrorism, heightened security and civic unease.

The thing is that when we choose to travel and live out of a backpack, exploring and sleeping somewhere different every night I am quite prepared for this state of constant change and impermanence.

However, here in Naples, living a (somewhat) regular lifestyle, with routine and a level of (semi) permanence I have found it increasingly stressful and disconcerting to lack the certainty of knowing where I’ll be sleeping, which route to take to get to school and where to shop for dinner supplies. Naples is a city where people, generally, set up home and stay there for generations. If you can control your living environment, create a safe haven and a place of continuity and certainties then you are in a much better position to deal with the chaos that assaults you once you step out of your front door.

My anxiety levels have been up. My students are commenting on it. It’s showing in the way Gigi and I are relating to each other, and I feel like I’ve aged this month. Any nesting instincts have been suppressed this month, although I have experienced some leakage with my laundry obsession and cooking dinners for the friends that have kindly had us stay.

This period of being ‘in-between’ homes has also revealed some surprises from our friends. The biggest surprise though is to have discovered that I really do – finally – have some genuine friends in Naples. We spent two weeks invading Dana’s room, constantly concerned that we were creating havoc. Dana was away for the first week, but she lives in an apartment with three other women, two of them Italians. To Gigi’s delight he discovered two interesting women, Paola and Lina, quickly striking up new friendships. To our surprise they have both lamented that it’s a shame we couldn’t just move in with them.

As a testament to Dana’s generosity, we spent the second week sharing her room. Having spent her Christmas break in London, New York, Miami and Kuwait Dana returned to Naples and work, with some reluctance. Hopefully a week of sleeping with (I mean alongside) Gigi cheered her up. His cheekiness and my cooking helped take the edge of the problem of all our stuff clogging up her room and the inevitable lack of privacy, and someone’s snoring.

However, complaints from the girls’ landlady and a concern that we had already overstayed out welcome then saw us accept Seb’s offer to put us up for a few nights. Seb, is a quintessentially polite and occasionally shy young man, who is undeniably English and a teacher colleague of mine. He has recently moved into an apartment that he shares with Dimitri, a Greek guy studying architecture in Naples. We slept in their lounge room, sharing a bathroom with an ‘interesting’ toilet that refuses to accept anything other than body wastes as the plumbing system can’t handle toilet paper. I suspect Seb enjoyed our idiosyncrasies, and hopefully will remember the new recipes I showed him. After a week of us squatting in his lounge Seb is also more familiar with some Australian slang, which he found highly entertaining for some reason.

I have more blogging to write about the trials and tribulations of the last month. We are currently staying in a lovely B&B, thanks to another generous friend. And I think we might even have found a place to live. More soon.