Dylan Tries It On

What do you get when you combine a bungee rope, a trampoline and a 7 year old boy? Our god son Dylan trying out Bungee-trampoline - of course. This is what it looks like.

Per gli italiani - questo e il nostro figlioccio Dylan.

Hook me up!
At attention, ready for blast off.

Crikey, I'm not sure about this.

Maybe if I jump like a frog?

Oh yeah, I've got it now.

Toilet Seat Up or Down?

Do you ever have domestic disputes about the toilet seat being left up or down? After 15 years of living with a Mediterranean man who very often chooses to sit this was a dispute long ago resolved and since forgotten in our little household. Until, the landlord arrived with his somewhat brash Canadian father for an impromptu inspection, and a request we had made fieve months earlier to have the toilet seat replaced was mentioned. 'Oh yes, that would be great' we chimed in.

The pair tottered off to the local hardware store returning with what appeared to be a standard, white toilet seat in pristine condition. The two men did their hardy thing and were soon on their way, with a cheerio and thanks from us.

Shortly afterwards it was time to test the new seat and only then did I discover the 'instruction' sheet they had kindly left on the toilet seat cover. Now I hear you thinking - how tricky can a toilet seat be to use. You put it up, you put it down.

Oh no, this one has been specially designed for males, especially the obese (an image of the landlord's Canadian father flashes through my mind), and housewives and cleaners who will 'appreciate not seeing a messy and unsanitary seat when performing their everyday bathroom chores'.....I wonder to myself how many housewives and cleaners the pair imagined wandered through our bathroom on a daily basis performing chores? I might give it a once over on a fortnightly basis so it remains a mystery to me.

The thing is, this toilet seat is designed so that the seat itself pops into an upright position if the lid is lifted. It has suction caps underneath that grip to the bowl for about ten seconds if you press down on the lid and seat...but as any woman knows by the time you get your belt undone, your jeans and knickers down it is very likely that ten seconds has passed and you find yourself sinking into the bowl. Or as you turn your back and struggle with a zip, stockings or a pair of those secret suck-it-in grandma undies there is no way you can be seated before the springs kick into action and flip the seat up.

And as if to add insult to injury when you do finish and resume the standing position the seat pops up, joining the lid in a salute as though taking the piss (pardon the pun) that you are disadvantaged by your need to sit down on the job. So, now I am constantly on my guard, ready for the seat to float up before my bottom heads south, or putting the toilet seat cover down so as to avoid the ghastly sight of both appendages being raised.

I put it down to the fact that two men went out to buy something as mundane as a new toilet seat and came back with a contraption that really didn't need to be invented.

Dreams

A recent Sunday drive took us through the hinterland area north west of Brisbane. It's a place of dreams - buy a little farm, a few solar panels, self sufficient garden and watch nature in action.

Glasshouse Mountains in the background.

Cool kids

My nephews stayed entertained at breakfast while the adults talked girl talk.

Janet & Alex's Wedding

Janet and Luke aka Alex married on Saturday 8th November at the Treasury Conrad Hotel in Brisbane to a flurry of Medieval trumpets and the release of 500 white doves. Well, maybe I made up the bit about the trumpets and doves. With 50 guests, the location ensured that it was a classy and tasteful affair and yet the ceremony and reception managed to capture the happy couple's relaxed and stylish approach to life. The bride beamed like the sun on a scorchin' summer's day and the groom spent most of the cermony with a faint blush upon his cheeks and leaking eyes. It was a delight to watch them exchange their vows, Alex whispering and Janet loud and clear, while the celebrant managed to get Janet's name wrong almost every time.

I was even more delighted to have been asked to give the reading during the ceremony. 'What would you like me to read? I asked the bride when she personally asked me (by email!) to be part of their special day. 'Oh, anything you like. You can write something if you like'. Great, no pressure then. In accordance with all such important tasks I left it till the last minute and spent part of the day before the wedding writing the little piece below.

Now, I've given readings before. I'm made public speeches. I was MC at my sister's wedding and it's been many a family celebration where the three sisters have collectively risen to the challenge of speaking before loved ones. So, it was great surprise that I walked down the aisle to stand before Janet and Alex, and faced the other guests, only to find Janet looking like an excited possum in a fruit shop and Alex visibly emotional. As I read, my voice wavering in a couple of places, I kept thinking 'Remember to look at the bride and groom and out at the audience'. As I tried this I found that everytime I looked at Janet I just wanted to touch her and embrace her. And everytime I focused on Alex he seemed to cry even more, which almost triggered my tear tendency in sympath.

The whole evening was lovely. Fifty guests was a lovely size, the location was wonderful, the food impressive and the DJ's music very danceable. A couple of warm speeches from siblings and cutting of the cake secured the formalities of the evening.

The thing that struck me the most was just how totally happy they both looked. Let's hope that our best wishes and their genuine love keeps them on that path as (as Janet summed it up in a text message) eternal partners.

Janet & Alex’s Wedding Day Reading

May your marriage today be born from the desire to love one another,
With a purity of heart, soul, body and mind.
May you love with open generosity and intimate gestures.
May life grant you patience, tolerance and understanding, and
Together may you embrace true compromise, caring and commitment.

May you recognise that when you love someone, you do not love them all the time,
In exactly the same way, from moment to moment.
Knowing that, may you have faith in the ebb and flow of the tide of life, of love, of relationships.
And so may you trust in each other, and the continuity of your love,
Knowing the only truth is the continuity of change and growth.

May you delight in the mystery of each other, physical and spiritual,
May you reveal secrets knowing they won’t be held against you,
And love when the other is unlikeable
Learn that to listen is the key to the equality and synchronicity you already share.
May your partnership not so much fill the emptiness as to help you discover your fullness.

May you share happiness and may you find it making each other happy
May you have love and may you find it loving one another.
May you have the humility and strength to take the first steps towards each other if you fall.
And may you never neglect the little graces.

May you remember that marriages do not fail, people fail
When they enter into marriage expecting another to make them whole.
Knowing this, may you take full responsibility for you individual selves
And may you take half the responsibility for your marriage,
For together you create a marriage

May you have a life lived simply and passionately, and may you experience a marriage fully alive
May this partnership, blushing with potential, mature into a golden marriage of which this wedding day can only hint at.

This day is your gift to each other, as you stand here today full of that potential and these promises.